Saturday, August 9, 2014
Semana Dos- Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled
This week was insane. It feels like SO much has happened and I have NO clue how to organize the events of this week into a logical format, but Ill try!
SO GUESS WHO WENT TO THE TEMPLE THIS MORNING? Well... kind of... I DID!! The actual temple is closed for remodeling I think, but we got a tour of the VC there and got to walk around a little. We didnt have a lot of time there, and Im mad at myself because I talked to some random old guy that was on vacation there instead of walking all the way around... I was being too nice to tell him to go away, but he really wouldnt stop talking. He was a nice old man, and any other time I would've been happy to chat about pyramids in Mexico and the population of cities in the world, but anyways. Está bien.
I LOVE THE TEMPLE. My day was still officially made. I fasted the 24 hours leading up to when we went because I had some questions and concerns I wanted to have help with, and I got answers. God definitely loves me and wants me to have the help I need! I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR OUR ETERNAL FAMILY, and the knowledge I have that my family is forever. I love that I am out here now so I can teach other people that their families can be forever too. In fact, we are teaching one of our investigators that tonight!
Another wonderful thing that happened at the temple: We were sitting in front of the statue of Christ, and listening to the recording of His words. He said TO ME, "Let not your heart be troubled... Walk in the meekness of my Spirit" It was comforting to hear those words, and I decided that is this week's theme because I need to remember that! And another thing I needed to hear- We listened to part of Jeffrey R Holland's talk, "Lord, I Believe" The part that stood out to me was "Be true to the faith you do have- WHAT WE KNOW WILL ALWAYS TRUMP WHAT WE DO NOT KNOW". I love this. Mostly because at this time, I am REALLY feeling all the things I don't know- like....SPANISH. And it is so hard to teach, and keep track of all these things I am supposed to be doing and becoming, and I don't know how to do it! BUT. I do know that God loves me, and He has called ME to be a missionary, but to be MYSELF. I am not supposed to fit this perfect mold. I don't know everything about the gospel, but I know that I am a child of God, and EVERYONE ON EARTH IS TOO. I know that I am here learning so that I can invite people to come to know my Savior, and their Savior. AH I could go on, but I will talk about other things...
Here's some more awesome moments of this week.
--FAST AND TESTIMONY MEETING IS AMAZING AS A MISSIONARY. Even when it is in Spanish!! That was INCREDIBLY powerful. So I had written out my testimony on this lovely piece of paper so I could read it off, but I forgot it when I stood up. I had to wing it from the pulpit...in spanish... but I ended up so grateful for that. I honestly dont really know what I said, but one thing stood out to me. I hadn't planned on saying this until it was already out of my mouth,but I said, "él tiene fe en nosotros" I remember that because it was what I needed to hear, and I hadn't thought about it until I had already said it. God has faith in us, and He has given us our callings in life- Mine right now is to be a missionary, and He knows I can do it!
--Monday, our district did a "Solo Espanol" day. From the time we woke up until when we went to bed, we were only allowed to speak spanish. Suffice to say, it was the most frustrating day of my life I think. Our Elders all gave up around lunchtime, but me and Hermana Sainsbury stayed strong. IT WAS SO HARD- But I do feel like I am improving...We will try the whole spanish thing again later...Meanwhile we have other language goals that arent making me as frustrated.
--Sidenote: It has now become a regular thing for Hermano Beltran (our teacher) to pull me aside during class or during our breaks to ask if I am okay because I cry all the time. Hahah we determined yesterday that I now have hand signals to let him know if its a happy cry, a spiritual cry, or an "I-dont-understand-spanish-and-need-to-take-a-break" cry... haha its pathetic.
Okay last thing I think, I don't know if I will have enough time to explain it, but this week- after a particularly hard day (I describe it as metaphorically sprinting into a brick wall) I read the story in Matthew about Peter walking on water. Christ's apostles are on the ship, the storm gets bad, they see Christ walking on water and Peter asks if he can walk to Christ. Christ tells him to come. ...
Peter starts WALKING ON WATER, but then he takes his eyes off the Savior and sees the storm around him and begins to sink. He cries out, "Lord, save me" and IMMEDIATELY the Savior reaches out His hand to save Peter. He then says, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt". I don't have time to explain all my thoughts, but I love that Christ is immediately there for us the moment we call out to Him. I started to sink a little bit this week. I am in MEXICO, thousands of miles from home, trying to learn another language, not going home for 18 months, left my family and friends, teaching people I've never met, in classes or studying for 10 hours a day, etc etc. I need the Savior because this is NOT POSSIBLE without Him! I can't think about all the reasons I can't do this because HE KNOWS I CAN. He has faith in me. I need to let not my heart be troubled. Okay I wish I could talk more about this but Helaman 5:12 ties into this perfectly... I love it.
I love you all! I am so happy here and I know really truly that this is where I need to be. :)
Talk to you next week!
Love, Hermana Rogers
LOOK UNTO ME IN EVERY THOUGHT'; DOUBT NOT, FEAR NOT.