Monday, October 20, 2014
Sin Miedo (Without Fear)
This is my theme of the week, and the next 40 days. I am doing what is called the 40 Day Sacrifice, where you sacrifice something in order to better your relationship with the Lord and become a more effective missionary. I am sacrificing something tangible as well, but what I am working on especially over the next 40 days is sacrificing my FEAR.
Sin Miedo is going to be my new mission motto! It came about this past week... we were with the Serrano family and Hugo, talking and eating, and Eva gave me some pig skin and told me to put Valentina on it (Some hot sauce stuff). I told her I didn't want to, and that I was scared, and she said, "Sin miedo Hermana!" So I poured on the hot sauce and ate the pig skin!! Sin miedo (Which means without fear) I thought about that later... How initially I refused because I was scared to try it, but then Eva encouraged me and said, "Without fear Hermana!" and I did it. Bear with me, here is my thought process of the week!
Being a missionary is the craziest thing. I am going into people's houses, knocking on their doors, teaching them and testifying of this incredible message, all in spanish. And by I, I mean WE... I was thinking about how easy it has been for me to take the easy way out. I'm not super proud of this, but there have been entire lessons where when she looks at me, I will shrug my shoulders and make her keep talking... Sometimes I don't know what's going on, and sometimes I am just letting my fear take over. I don't know how to explain this entire thought process, but SIN MIEDO is my new motto. I am here to teach and testify BOLDLY of the Restored gospel of Jesus Christ. When I shrug my shoulders or refuse to testify, I am denying the Spirit and wasting my calling. I have been studying a lot about fear lately, and I know that as a missionary, I am here to open my mouth, not fearing what man can do, and share this gospel!! I can't be afraid! I can't justify any timidness I have by saying I am just some white girl that doesn't know spanish. I know that I am CALLED OF GOD to teach these people in this language at this time! I am coming to love these people and like Moroni 8:16 says, "Perfect love casteth out all fear" I am here to be BOLD, despite my weaknesses, and serve Him with all my might, mind and strength. He has called ME to represent Him and to do His work!
SIN MIEDO I will testify to every person we talk to and teach- I will BOLDLY invite others to come unto Christ by helping them received the Restored gospel! I am CALLED BY A PROPHET OF GOD! It will be hard for me, but I have faith that the Lord will continue to bless me as I open my mouth and speak by His Spirit. I am a MISSIONARY!!!!!! WOO!
Okay other than that! I GOT TO GO TO THE HOUSTON TEMPLE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON FRIDAY!!!! We went with an investigator and her daughters (Darly, Angi and Coralia) Angi is 14, she and her siblings have been baptized, but Darly can't be baptized yet because she lives with Oscar and they're not married because Oscar still is married in Mexico but ANYWAYS! They are INCREDIBLE, FAITH-FILLED people and AH I LOVE THE TEMPLE! So Darly drove us there and it was insane. It is about an hour away, and she got lost, so it took us 3 hours to get there. Suffice to say, we missed the time that Angi could have done baptisms, but it was still an incredible experience. We got there and Hermana Perez, Angi and I went in to reception to ask if she could still do baptisms, and it didn't work out. We went out all apologetic to Angi, and she was speechless. We asked what was wrong and she said, "It feels amazing in there. It is SO peaceful! It felt like there was no past, no future, only that moment. I felt like I was floating and all my problems melted away" It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard and my soul melted into a puddle. She is SO good and felt the Spirit so strong, just by going through the front doors! All of us stood around in a circle and Angi said a prayer about how grateful she was for the gospel in her life and the lives of her family. She was crying and so happy to be at the temple- I LOVED IT. It was such a spiritual experience.
It has been such an incredible week. I am so grateful for the Spirit and my calling as a missionary! I am going to be trying especially hard these next 40 days (then hopefully the rest of my mission) to get rid of all this fear that has been holding me back from reaching my full potential. I love you all!!